I really, really have been.
But I'm starting to.
I can't help it.
Tomorrow marks two more weeks until CPE is over. Can you believe it? It seems like just yesterday I spent my first day on the floor, contemplating how in the world I could quit CPE and still manage to be ordained. I believe I sent Bruce a text around noon that day, which said: "I will be home around 10:00 tonight. At that point I will need to cry."
And now I see light at the end of the tunnel. It's weird.
I'm trying not to count down the days for several reasons. First of all, I need to stay focused at the task at hand. I need to be a chaplain. I have two more on calls and I am going to need to be especially present and focused during those times. The spiritual needs of patients, families and staff won't decrease just because I only have a few days left.
Second of all, I haven't fully come to terms with the fact that come August 14th, I won't really have anything to do. The last seven years of my life have been structured by my education. During the year my focus was school. During the summer my focus was work or internships. Now my job is to finish working through my ordination process and start looking for a job. Unfortunately, it's not a simple or a fast process. So there is definitely an in between time of waiting, being patient and trusting the process.
Easier said than done. I don't do well without structure in my life.
I was thinking about this yesterday and had an idea. Enter ...
... the Thanksgiving Day Atlanta Half Marathon.
What do you guys think? Should I go for it and start training? The way I see it, registering for a half marathon would accomplish two things. One, it would give me a tangible goal that I can be in control of. Two, it would give me an outlet to deal with the anxiety that comes with looking for a job.
My only concern is that I still don't have any cartilage in my right knee - but I'm fairly confident that I can slowly build up my miles and strengthen my legs so I'm not pounding on my knees. 13.1 miles is kind of daunting considering the fact I haven't run more than a mile and a half in over three years - but I think it might actually be fun to create a training schedule and trust a different kind of process.
Should I do it? Any Atlantans want to do it with me?
Posts
