Saturday, April 4, 2009

Grateful for Sweet Presents ...

Ever have one of those days?

I was having one of those yesterday.  There was no reason for it to be one of those days - it was Friday after all!!  Two classes and a few hours of work stood between me and the weekend.  And I even felt prepared for both classes.  I was preaching in my colloquy and my sermon had been finished since lunchtime on Thursday and the paper topic for New Testament this week was something LTJ had spent a lot of time on last semester.  So I'm not really sure what happened.  I think it started with my sermon.  It's not that it went badly or anything, it's just that it was a really difficult text and in my search for answers or that big "ah-ha!!" sometimes I think people are looking for in a sermon, I touched on too much and didn't just the let hard questions sit.  Don't get me wrong - it wasn't a terrible sermon, I think I was just trying to hard to find answers and not listening to God tell me that sometimes unanswered questions are okay.  Anyway, I went to my New Testament colloquy fairly confident with what I had gotten out of this week's response paper and left feeling like I really don't belong in seminary.  I'm not really sure what happened - I tried to express my understanding of Paul's letter and it came out sounding like I've never opened a bible in my entire life.  Perhaps I'm exaggerating, but it's how I felt nonetheless.  I didn't go to Eucharist, I decided to go straight to work.  I probably should have gone to Eucharist - I'm continually amazed at the way God can work through someone when they least expect it - but I just didn't feel like I could prepare myself for worship.

When I got to work a girl who was a work study student last year was visiting.  She graduated last year and now works down the street and her main purpose being there was to interview students with a group of people she works with for an internship.  Her job is amazing and I'm fairly certain she's getting paid well.  She's doing something that is challenging to her and letting her use what she learned in school.  She was wearing a power suit and had these fierce Prada glasses on.  I am jealous?  Not in so many words.  Am I frustrated that I'm still in school, without the money (or any reason to) purchase suits or cute business attire?  Am I frustrated that I'm working out of my field & call for $12 an hour?  Am I frustrated that this job gets in the way of my school work?  Am I frustrated in this "in-between-time" between parishioner and pastor?  Do I feel like I'm getting nothing accomplished and not being effective anywhere?  Yes-Yes-Yes-Yes-Yes.  It was just a reminder that I'm stuck in a holding pattern and the pilot won't let me off the plane.  So - jealous?  No.  Frustrated?  ABSOLUTELY.

So now I'm at work, feeling like I'm theologically inadequate and frustrated about where I am in life.  And I have a giant pile of data reconciliation that needs to be done.  Now - I try not to complain about what I do at work.  I'm SO grateful for my job and love the people that I work with.  It's just that I really do not like data reconciliation.  I didn't like it when I had to do it at Sportography (sorry Court and Mario!!) and I don't like doing it now.  I don't understand why we can't just get the data right to begin with!!  But anyway, I had this big pile of data reconciliation to do and it just made my down mood spiral even further.  I decided to leave work around 4 and took the scooter, which had been at Emory since Tuesday.  I hadn't planned very well, because when I left in the morning I wasn't thinking that I would be riding the scooter home and had nothing to protect me from the wind.  You'd be surprised how cold one can get when you hit 45 mph on a scooter and the wind is blowing you around a little bit.  So I got home - cold and down on my life.

At that point I curled up on the couch, watched TV and fell asleep.  I woke up to Bruce coming home from work with this:

A wonderfully soft Easter bunny/bear!!  I've been hugging it since I got my hands on it.

He also brought me Cadbury Cream Eggs and a new pair of earrings!!  How lucky am I?  He knew I had been having a hard time and just wanted to me to feel better about myself and about life.

I accidentally read the nutrition information on them and they're not as unhealthy for you as one might think!!  So I think I'll have two!!

I've been trying to focus today on my NonProfit Leadership final project.  My friend Moses and I are creating our own 501(c)3 - actually we're just working through the motions, we're not actually going to file anything - and it's due in just over two weeks!!!!!  There's lots to be done, but it's a creative project and I've really been enjoying it.  I just wish I didn't have so many other things going on and I could just focus on that (I feel like I'm saying that about everything these days!!).  Anyway, here's a preview of what I've been working on - we have to create a template of our website homepage and this is what I came up with.  Please let me know if I should change or add anything.  Think about it this way - when you go to a nonprofit homepage, what are you looking for?  Does this look easy to maneuver?  Should I add and/or remove anything?  I would love your comments!!

Until next time,


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