Thursday, December 4, 2008

Resurrection of Ursinus Sarah

So I texted Kari the other day and asked her how med school was.  I think I was looking for some affirmation that life beyond Ursinus was much more difficult than life at Ursinus.  It's not that I was never challenged at Ursinus, it's just that I always seemed to feel like I had things under control.  I don't quite feel that way at Candler.  And this doesn't make any sense to me - because I'm finally in an environment where I'm taking big steps towards ordination, something I've felt called to in one way or another since I was landed in Honduras in June 2003.  So I'm trying to figure out what's changed in the year and a half since I graduate from college that's making it more difficult for me to get anything accomplished well in school.

Well ... when I put it like that.  A lot's changed.

I'm living with Bruce now.  Even when bruce and I were dating the last semester at Ursinus, I didn't see him everyday, usually about twice a week.  When I was with him I never did any work, but I had gotten really good at being productive when I wasn't with him.

Bruce and I are living on our own now.  We have real responsibilities.  I went from having one credit card and Bruce went from paying his cell phone to us having rent, utilities, credit cards (including food and essential items).  This doesn't leave a lot of room for fun.  That's been a really hard adjustment.  We haven't been able to unwind the way we used to because we just don't have the money to go out a lot.  And going along with that - I work more.  The money that I make isn't just my fun money anymore, it's my pay my bills money.  And so that entices me to work me.  And I do.  I work twice as many hours now that I did in college.  And I work.  I don't sit at the museum and be able to get work, e-mails, etc. done.  And that definitely takes its toll on me and my school work.

I don't live across the street anymore.  It's not that I have this gravely long commute, but it makes a difference that I'm not just rolling out of bed and walking across the street.  I have to think about my day more, carry more around, leave earlier and get home later.

No big band.  I think it makes a difference that I haven't been playing my sax as much as I did in college.  There was something so fun about opening up a solo section and just jamming.  I miss that.  There's no place for me to do that right now.

I don't get as much exercise.  I miss having the fitness center right there.  For all of you who are still at Ursinus, you are spoiled!!  Most college campuses don't have gyms as nice as Ursinus does that are so accessible.  I need to get those endorphins flowing again!!

Okay, so how am I going to resurrect the Ursinus Sarah again?  Good question.  Here's my solution.  First of all, I'm not going to take myself so seriously.  When I don't take myself so seriously then I won't get so stressed out.  Second of all, I'm going to try to summon the "get to the point" person in me and not try to be so good about getting work done ahead of time.  Sometimes it just needs to be put off in order for it to get done quickly and efficiently (I'm already there, actually I have to put together an ethics paper for my group by tomorrow and I haven't started yet!!).  I'm going to eat more peanut m&ms (this was Kari's suggestions) and lastly I'm going to try to get more exercise.  Totally contradictory, but we'll see how it works.

Come on, Ursinus Sarah.  Come back!!

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